signing off.

the past few months have been a roller coaster to say that least. it was not until this past week, that I was finally able to make some sort of peace with the current state of things. I have hope that in time, all with Bug and I will be right. it is that hope that is carrying me through this time.

parenting of any kind is a challenge to say that least. to go from being a carefree, self serving, relatively responsibility free person- to a parent in a matter of 9 sort months is a difficult thing to explain to someone who has not gone through it themselves. there are certainly challenges that face each parent, and there are days when it seems as though giving up is the safest bet- but being a parent is hands down the best "job" ever. [i only wish the time spend resulted in financial gain, or at least counted for some community service hours for scholarships only kidding. sort of. ]

as I close out this semester and prepare for the summer, and the ongoing custody situation- I have decided to take on an additional challenge. the time I spent this semester reading the blogs of other mothers made me realize how many of us there are out there and how few of us feel truly connected (outside the blogging world) to other young, single mothers. I, along with a group of young mothers I have met over the course of this year, have decided to start a group that will give advice (based on experience) to expectant mothers. We all felt very unprepared (even though we all attended parenting and birthing courses at the hospital) for what labor and even life with a baby would be like. We also have all experienced the different endings to young parenthood situations: marriage, breakups, custody issues, etc. These experiences if shared can serve as a great tool for those who are so young, and so unprepared for what lies ahead. I hope to make a difference in someone's life and to help them ease into this very difficult situation with some grace :).

thank you all for the kind words of support offered throughout this semester, it has served as a great source of encouragement on rough days.

this is me, signing off.

wednesdays.

wednesdays have become the days I live for.

A few weeks ago, I decided that I was going to set Wednesdays aside for bug and I to just forget about everything thats going on in life- and go on some mini road trips to some fun spots in Florida. Thus far, we have gone to Sea World, Mosi, and Lowry Park Zoo.

I have found these "mommy/bug" days to be a great stress reliever. and to be honest, they have in a way helped me to finally feel completely comfortable in my "single mom role". There is nothing that screams "You are alone!" than going to some of the most family filled places, with just your baby.

It has definitely been a positive experience because I have been learning so many lessons about how to be a more effective parent; these trips are serving a good many purposes, but on top of all of it bug and I are getting to spend real quality time together. time that is not wrapped up in homework, work, court preparation, etc.

Countdown of the top five lessons I've learned in the past month:

5. Leave the cute, oversized purse at home. While I feel much hipper with the cute purse that is supposed to take the place of the standard diaper bag, it is very inconvenient. Instead, opt for the less "cute" and more user friendly backpack.

4. Avoid ANY gift shops for things like bottled water. Instead, opt for the side stands. Once you enter gift shops, or as i call it "credit card hell"- your child will instantly see a million things they want. And if you child is anything like mine, will properly name the stuffed animals and will guilt you into spending $40 on something worth maybe $5.

Keep in mind, your child will be over this overpriced toy before you even make it into the parking lot.

3. Charge your camera the night before. There is nothing more frustrating than standing in a long line for your child to pet the dolphin, only to realize when she gets to- your camera is dead. And to top it all off, you can buy a photo from the staff (ONE YOU COULD HAVE TAKEN FOR FREE had you charged your camera), for the low price of $30. --- I don't know about you but at $30 a picture, I expect the photo to talk.

2. Pack plenty of snacks and water. A day at a theme park will inevitably leave you and your child hungry. Unless you want to pay $10 for a bag filled with three tiny crackers- I suggest you pack plenty.

1. Bring sunscreen and a hat. Those two things will save you from paying all week, for what you did in one day.

Of course, not a rule but make sure to enjoy all the time you spend with your little ones. It really is a joy- and something I have learned should not be taken for granted.

Not the complaint department.

Oh, the art of a good complaint.

I have to say that I never realized how different people view situations until I became a parent. Not just a parent (which comes with a host of its own complaints), but a single parent (that one word adds an insane amount of worry and yes- complaints.)

A few of my recently married with children girlfriends have called me with their list of complaints- most of which stem from 2 main problems. Usually, I am a good listener and a pretty great at offering advice, but for whatever reason when it comes to these conversations- I turn into a raging bitch.

Complaint 1: Oh gosh, its so frustrating. I have to get up with the baby during the night. My husband (boyfriend, etc) only warms up the bottle and changes the diaper- and then he goes to bed and leaves me on my own.

Response 1: As a single mom, "On my own" is a way of life. A warm bottle, a diaper change---- yeah, all of that is done "on my own". So next time you want to complain about doing things alone, perhaps you should stop and feel some gratitude for the help you do have. Oh how nice it would be to roll over and ask my significant other to get a bottle, change a diaper, rock a baby- but all of those things are done alone. Now don't get me wrong, I do understand that each situation comes with its own problems.. my rational mind allows me to acknowledge that- but during this conversations- these are the responses that come to mind.

Complaint 2: I only get two days to myself a week. And only like 4 hours on those two days combined for me time.

Response 2: First, welcome to parenthood. period. Second, as a single mom I rarely shower alone. If I want to shower without the little one- If i want to shower alone it must occur between the hours of 11p.m. and 5 a.m. Alone time/"Me Time", no longer exists in my vocabulary. Unless you count the time in school and work- and those do not fall into the category of "free time".

Again, while I understand that different situations come with their own set of complaints and problems, I wish that my friends could be thankful for the help they do have; and learn to enjoy that help and rejoice in it. Because for me, that help is not there- and I would give anything for a warmed bottle, a clean diaper, and a hug at the end of the day.