No, my daughter is not a unicorn.
Over the course of the last 18 months, it has come to my attention that not only are adults rude, but they are capable of asking questions I would expect from maybe a 3 to 5 year old child.
My daughter has a hemangioma on her forehead. It is a small (nickle sized) raised, red bump right on the hairline. (it would be covered by a bang- if she decided to ever grow hair). It is noticeable, and unusual- so it is not a total shocker that people would ask questions about it. However, being chased down in a crowded store, or asked by a gas station cashier if my daughter was a unicorn, was not at all what I would have expected.
A hemangioma is very common, benign tumor that forms during gestation, and appears anywhere from a few days to a few weeks after birth. According to my pediatrician, it will most likely disappear by the time she is five. There are of course rare cases in which the bump will not go away, and it can be surgically removed.
Bug's mark first appeared when she was almost 6 weeks old as a small, bruise like mark on her foreheard. Being a new mother, I was certain I had bumped her head on something and of course felt terrible. After a few weeks (and noticeable changes), I made an appointment with her doctor. I did not fully understand what it was (or even how to pronounce it properly), but I left assured that she was fine, and that it would go away before anyone would think to tease her. Fast forward roughly 16 months. Wow, people can be just so rude.
The first time someone thought to comment about my daughters condition was in a local Sam's club. This woman literally chased me down as I was exiting the store and exclaimed, "oh what did that little poor baby do to her head! was she naughty? Yes, she was naughty- so i beat her head? I mean honestly. [for the record, the mark does not look like ANY bruise I have ever seen in my entire life.]
Most recently, and I suppose the reason I decided to post this tonight, was an awkward and over the top incident at the local Verizon store. My daughter and I walked into the store and were greeted by an employee who was supposed to assist us in signing in. Instead, however, he decided to take it upon himself to poke fun and gawk at the mark on her head until I finally walked away.
The conversation went as follows:
Stupid man: Hello, welcome to verizon. Wow- what happened to his [please note that while i realize my daughter has little hair, she was wearing all pink] head? it looks like he ran into a coffee table.
Me: Oh. yeah. [awkward smile]
Stupid man: I mean seriously, that thing is really sticking out. It looks like a baby unicorn horn. [again, shocked here. this is now the second time in bug's life her mark has been compared to a unicorn horn. who thinks that much about unicorns?].
Stupid man: Wow it sticks out a couple of inches at least. [this is a total exaggeration on his part]
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Anyone who is a parent at this point knows how infurriating a moment like this can be. I guess I really never realized how much people who have physical differences are picked on and gawked at. It is definitely not something as a parent I ever wanted my daughter to have to deal with. I am hopeful that the mark will be a thing of the past in a few years- and pleased that when her special mark is long gone, those people (especially you, verizon man) will still be stupid and rude.
The photo is of my daughter, Bug.
Yeah, people can be crazy. After my daughter lost her left eye, there was about a two month period before she had her prosthetic. The eye socket during this time was empty. The thing I can say about that experience is that it was so disturbing for so many people to see that they couldn't even formulate a sentence.
ReplyDeleteOne day, though, I heard a few parents in a grocery store and say something like "well maybe if your parents watched her a little more she wouldn't have lost her eye." Their sarcasm and sense of superiority almost led me to violence. Instead, I simply picked Rowan up and said something really loud about how cancer sucks. Bitches.
Wow, I cannot believe the audacity of some people. That is increadibly rude and its crazy to think that some people actually dont have the decency to shut their mouth and mind their own business. Its great that you were able to walk away without pushing the situation farther. Like I've said before, you have great strength.
ReplyDeleteThere are definately many ignorant and disrespectful people in this world. Especially when curiousity is taken to a different level and reaches the peak of stupidity and becoming rude. I don't have any kids but I have 3 young nieces that I love as my own, and I can't imagine what the next comment out of my mouth would have been if I was at the Verizon store with that "Stupid man."
ReplyDeleteMy cousin Bryant was born with many disabilites, and many people would gawk at him in public. Some would even go up to his parents and ask "what's wrong with him?" (as if he wasn't sitting right there) Maybe they were just curious and didn't mean to be rude, but you would think that they would think before they said something like that. My aunt and uncle were very strong; they used Bryant as a way to educate people. He even met the Governor of NH (where they live) and discussed with him issues in Special Education.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the comments that were made to you. I can't imagine how I would feel if someone was criticising something so personal. I am shocked that a grown man said this, and at his place of work. It is pure ignorance and stupidity.
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